Seeing my friend and her new baby was actually not as bad as I expected. My husband and I went by after work and one of her co-workers who I've met before was there. The co-worker was holding the baby when we arrived and I sat down next to her to get a look. After a few minutes she asked if I wanted to hold the baby. My friend, the new mom, was like, "no one has to hold the baby though if they don't want to...I never liked holding newborns before I was pregnant!". I knew she was protecting me and it was really sweet and meant the world to me. What an awesome friend...I already knew it, but that was just so cool! I ended up holding the baby for a while and it was hard, but kind of nice all at the same time.
I keep trying to think how this just wasn't my time, but then I think of how far along I would have been and it just kills me. I still feel heartbroken about the whole thing. Still, my husband and I are trying to just enjoy the time we have and I'm taking up new hobbies. I still do a lot of crying over things, but hopefully my time will come soon. My husband said a while back that when I get pregnant I'll be the only one and it will be more special...It was so sweet!
Time heals all wounds I guess, but time sure does move slower when you are waiting...
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