Well, my neighbor who happens to be one of our dearest friends has given birth to a healthy baby boy. I'm thrilled for her and her husband. She was lucky enough to have a very easy delivery and sounded great when I talked to her this morning. Her husband asked if I wanted to come with him to the hospital to see them, but I told him I just couldn't take it. It is just too much for me to go to the hospital where I was supposed to deliver and see all those babies. I feel terrible for not going, but I really think he understood.
I am in a very deep depression. Just last week my levels sunk down to 3, and anything below 5 is considered 0. I think that the falling hormones along with the arrival of my first period since the second d&c have put me in a tail spin. And as happy as I am for my friends, knowing there will be a newborn here every day to see doesn't help things any.
To top it all off my husband is out of town this weekend.
Tonight I have a friend and cousin coming over to hang out and hopefully that will make me feel better. I am beginning to seriously consider looking into some counseling to help me through all this. Everyone grieves differently, but this is just getting ridiculous.
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Hi,
I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling down. I'm seeing a counsellor now and it's helped. It's a safe place to get it all out and cry and see things in a different way. I think I'll continue throughout the 12 month wait because that's going to be tough. I'm already planning next summer's vacation so that we'll have something to look forward to. I hope you feel better soon.
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