Wednesday, November 15, 2006

long month

Sorry for being away for so long. It's been a rather long month and I've been a bad blogger.
I suppose I'll begin with the job stuff since that is where I last left off. I have accepted a new position and start my new job on Monday! It was quite an ordeal because I had two really strong offers, so deciding which to take was really stressful. Then, in the midst of deciding and interviewing, my husband's grandmother died. She was in her mid -80s and her health had been failing the past couple of years. Still, she was an amazing woman and we were all very saddened to see her pass.

Hubby and I were supposed to go out of town for a little anniversary trip the weekend she died. We had been planning since right before I had the second d&c. We had to cancel of course, and although we didn't want to go because of the circumstances, both of us were really disappointed. It had been the trip through all our stress of the past few months that we had been so looking forward to. We are going to try and reschedule..

I'm excited about the new job. I think the challenge will be a nice distraction for me, and it is a promotion from what I'm currently doing as well. I'll be managing and taking on more responsibility. It is more money too which is always nice.

I also started seeing my old therapist this past month. It was kind of funny because I told her I was having a hard time getting over the miscarriage and she looked at me like I was crazy. It was so nice to feel validated in my grief. I hadn't been allowing myself validation and it was like I finally got permission. Going to see her is really helping things.

My levels are still at 0 and I'll go mid-December for my next check. We will probably go off the pill some time in March or April of next year, but who knows....life has a tendency of getting in the way. In the mean time the waiting still remains like a kind of daily torture. I sit and watch all my friends become mothers and it is painful. The holidays make things a bit harder too. This is my favorite time of year and I was so looking forward to it being that much more exciting because of the pregnancy.

The other day I saw a picture of an actress who is due in February and it felt like I had been punched in the stomach. I guess the thing that therapy has been teaching me is that although I think that is a crazy reaction to have 3 months post miscarriage, it's actually pretty normal.

So, with all this waiting I'm not sure what direction the blog will begin to take.....I guess it should be interesting to find out!