Tuesday, October 24, 2006

been a while...

hi, well.......... it's been a while. The past couple of weeks have gone by very quickly, so I hadn't realized that it had been so long. How I've missed you!

So, the career conundrum is no longer a conundrum. I spoke with my boss and am going to start looking for something new. My commute is killing me and she really understood. Of course, the fact that she was so cool makes it that much harder to decide to leave. I have a bunch of opportunities right now, so I'm just really hoping to find the right thing.
As far as my mood has gone, it's been more stressed then depressed. I think that I've replaced one with the other though and that isn't such a good thing. I'm going to see a counselor this week to hopefully help me put things back into perspective. This has just been a rough year all around and I think I could use some of that perspective stuff. I still get angry when I see pregnant women, and I still ache when I see a baby, but not with the same sense of despair as before. So, things are looking better, right?

I think the path has become clearer through my job decision. I've always been focused on my career, and now that we have to wait to get pregnant again, I can 're-focus' on that effort and really make my footprint with a new company before I would have a baby. That would put us in a better situation overall since I'm the breadwinner of the family. As I look at new opportunities, I'm trying to keep the bigger picture in mind since in the end this will all effect my overall happiness. Hopefully in the long run, it works!

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Career conundrum

First I guess the health stuff...my levels have finally reached zero. This is great news, and now I can start going in for my blood tests once a month. Going every week was really getting old, so I'm glad that is over. Now for my career conundrum. An opportunity for a new job presented itself earlier this week. I am currently a contractor and was planning on going full time in November at my current job because a) I like my boss b) I like my co-workers c) It keeps me busy so the day goes by quickly and d) It isn't too stressful/challenging. All these things made it the perfect job for a soon to be mom. Well, I'm no where near a soon to be mom anymore thanks to those good old molar cells. I wasn't thinking of leaving my job, but an opportunity for a much higher level position came across my desk this week and it got me thinking that maybe I should consider a move now. I have the wait to get pregnant, so I can put the focus back on my career. It's a big choice and I'm really struggling with it. I have the interview on Friday, so I'm hoping that will help me see if I want to make a change.

Other than that life has been boring...just waiting and watching all the pregnant ladies pass me by....