Wednesday, February 13, 2008


Introducing Rowan Claire. I went in for an induction on the evening of the 30th and came out 24 hours later with a c-section due to the baby being stuck on my hip bone. Luckily I only really labored for about 12 hours - the first 12 were just getting the cervadil and waiting for that to do something. She is truly an amazing baby and we are totally in love with her. It was a long road to get here and worth every second.

I love the way she looks at me.
I love the noises she makes when she eats.
I love the way she smells.
I love the way my husband adores her.
I just love her.

I hope that those of you waiting receive you gift soon. Only now that she is here do I understand our trials to get here.

Monday, January 28, 2008

D day

Well, today is my due date and I'm still here waiting. I had a doctors appointment this afternoon and I'm still only fingertip dilated. Unless something miraculous happens in the next couple of days, I'll be going in Wednesday evening for my induction.

I worked today but decided that today will be my last day of work. I was going to work tomorrow as well but I just think I need to stop and give myself some time to rest and get ready for the work of labor.

The whole thing is really surreal at this point. People keep asking me if I'm excited, and I am, but no more than I was before. I don't think it's sunk in yet that I'm going to have my baby before the week ends.

Now, I just need to figure out how to keep myself occupied the next couple of days......

Thursday, January 24, 2008

it didn't work

So, I took the castor oil (2 oz mixed with 2 oz of OJ) and all it did was cause me to have really bad diarrhea. I was so bummed out because I was soooo sure it would work! I'm starting to think this child will be in here until our induction scheduled on the 31st.

I'm sick of being pregnant and really want to have my baby. This is just getting old now. After having the miscarriage/partial molar pregnancy, I feel like I've been waiting for my baby for 2 years now, and in a way I have! I know I should be greatful for what I am about to have - there are others out there who waited much longer, have been through much more and are still waiting. Still, it is hard at the end. Like many things on this journey, it's just another lesson in patience. You would just think I would have some by now!

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

castor oil

I had my 39 week check up today....still fingertip dilated. The baby did drop more though and is now at -1 station. My midwife recommended trying some Castor oil to help get things started. I took it about 4 hours ago and so far just some cramping and diarrhea. I figure it was worth a try - hopefully something starts happening soon!

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

what a difference!

I've developed carpel tunnels syndrome from the pregnancy and went in to the OB to have it checked out today. I need to wear braces on my wrists, but other than that I'll be okay. They decided to do my weekly check up while I was there. So, since Friday there has been some progress. I'm 60% effaced, -2 station and fingertip dilated! Obviously I could still have a ways to go, but it's great news that my body is finally doing something it's supposed to! Hopefully this means the baby is coming soon!

Saturday, January 12, 2008

still waiting

Well, My doctor's appointment yesterday showed that the baby is still high, not engaged at all and my cervix is tightly closed. I actually started crying when I got in the car I was so disappointed. (Hello pregnancy hormones?)

I had no idea the end of pregnancy could be this hard. I suffer from fibromyalgia, and for the past few weeks I've had a very bad flare up. This morning I woke up and could barely move one of my hands. I also have a hemorrhoid that is unbelievable painful. (Come on, you always knew you wanted to know these things about me!).

It's hard because I feel so conflicted. I went through a lot (though not nearly as much as some) to get here - to the end of a pregnancy that has thus far been successful. I feel that I should be greatful and overjoyed, but when you can barely move and are in constant pain with no end in sight it while having to work full time, it becomes very hard to remain positive.

I'm sure I'll get through all of this - but it's not easy!

Friday, January 04, 2008

getting to the end

Thanks for all your support on the mother in law issues. Things have settled down a bit, but mainly because I have not spoken to her since the dinner. I've just let my husband handle all conversations with her and it's been much better for me. We didn't even go over for Christmas which she was not happy about but my husband was firm on. We both were actually really exited to have a holiday for just the two of us - it's the last time we can really do that! I suppose I'll see my mother in law when we are in the hospital, but I'll just cross that bridge when we come to it. I figure I'll be so elated with my baby I won't really care much about dealing with her.

I'm now 36 weeks pregnant - will be 37 weeks (which is full term) on Monday. I had my first internal during my doctors visit today and the baby is head is down and my cervix is softening, but no dilation yet. My placenta has now also moved far enough away to cancel my c-section and go for a vaginal birth which was wonderful news!

As I'm coming to the end of my pregnancy it is amazing how many emotions I feel about the whole thing. I'm excited and nervous. I'm tired of being pregnant, but know I'll somehow still miss it when it's all over. Most of all, I can't wait to meet my little girl and start this new adventure with my husband. I love him so much and can't wait to see him hold her.

Now we just wait - hopefully it happens soon!