Some History

So some quick history. I got pregnant in college, well right after I graduated actually. I found out and miscarried 2 days later. There isn't much more information than that. In the end, although sad, it was for the best. No, that sounds so hard. I was really devastated at the time. It's just that I really wasn't ready to be a mother either. So, in this case, looking back this was "for the best."

Fast forward. I got married almost 3 years ago. In May my husband and I decided to really start trying for a baby. We got pregnant on the first try. I always knew that we were winners! We were both really excited (once we got out of the dear in headlights phase that is). Since I was really worried about another miscarriage, my OB was nice enough to give me a early sonogram and we saw a heart beat at 7 weeks. It was very very cool. No, that doesn't quite describe it. It was really fucking amazing. Okay, so eloquence is not my thing.

So, ten days after the sonogram I went for my regular appointment and we found out that there was no heart beat. This was the first appointment I didn't bring my husband to. I had to call him and tell him to meet me a the sonogram place. The doc wanted a second ultrasound just to be sure. It just sucked.

I was scheduled for a d&c a few days later. Since this is my second miscarriage the doctor decided to send the "tissue" out for genetic testing. I must say, I like tissue better than "products of conception", but let's call it what it really is. He sent the embryo out for testing to see if he could tell what went wrong.

Two days ago, we found out that I tested positive for the MTHFR genetic mutation. We will have to go see a specialist to discuss what the next steps are there. I don't have much more info than that right now.

I am also waiting for a final report on whether or not this is a partial molar pregnancy. If that is the case, we'll have to wait a year before we can try again because the cells can come back and become cancerous.

This is so not how things were supposed to be. We were supposed to have a baby. I was going to get a cute belly. We were going to decorate a nursery.

So now we wait. Wait for test results. Wait for information. Wait for more doctor appointments.