A better week

For some reason I feel better this week. There is no rhyme or reason to it, but I'm not going to question a good thing. I met with my therapist last night and we talked about the emotional rollarcoaster that is trying to conceive. It's hard wanting something and being disappointed month after month. I'm sure I'm preaching to the choir here, but after a while I think you just start to become resigned to the fact that it's hard. Up until now I've been fighting that notion.

A good friend let me borrow her fertility monitor which helped her get pregnant. I got a high reading this morning which is kind of early for me. My husband was thrilled because this means he'll get laid a lot. I am happy as well because this could mean a couple of days will be shaved of my cycle this month. Two days less of waiting. Score!

We have a spare room in our house that is meant to be a nursery. We never decorated it, but did paint it a pale blue when we moved in 2 years ago. Now, it has turned into a storage room. It's a mess. It's funny because it seems in some ways that the room has become a metaphor for my uterus. Bear with me here. Before we got pregnant last time, the room was filling up with baby related things - an old rocking chair, a small coat rack I had as a little girl, a bookcase. It was just starting to look right for a baby. Now, it looks like a bomb went off in it. I think we need to clean it out. Feng Shui the fucker. Feng Shui the room, feng shui the uterus?