Wednesday, December 13, 2006

trying not to think about it doesn't work either

Well, it's yet again been ages since I've posted. I was in therapy and things were going well so I decided the best thing to do was avoid everything that reminded me of my miscarriage. No websites, no blogging, not really talking about it much. Well, on my birthday (of course) some friends of ours had their first child. I asked my husband to call them and see how things were going, and this past Saturday I asked if he ever got a hold of them. He said yes, two days before and that they had the baby on my birthday. I was furious! I know he was trying to protect me but seriously!

Well, I got sent the pictures this morning and it hit me like a ton of bricks. Their baby is only 2 and half months older than mind would have been. I'm in my office just wanting to sit and cry for an hour and I can't. Why is it that when we have a miscarriage, all our friends are having their first babies!? I mean isn't it bad enough that my baby died and i have to wait to try again? I think I'll write more later, right now I just really don't have anything to say.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I've been wondering how you've been. I'm sorry you had a rough day. I know the feeling of wanting to try to focus on other things but I find that it always seems to be at the back of my mind. It can be really hard. You could try the opposite and write more and see what the effect is. It could be an experiment. Have a good cry later on.

Anonymous said...

The previous message is from Chantelle. It wasn't letting me log in.