less bitter

Well, I'm a bit less bitter than I was on my last post. Seeing my therapist of course helped. I think I'm finally coming to terms with the fact that this is just hard, and going to be hard.

My co-worker that miscarried right after me just found out she is pregnant again. She e-mailed me this morning to let me know. I am happy for her, and her e-mail was nice, saying how she understood that the news is not easy for me to hear. I know she gets it and that makes it a little easier. I feel for her because she is so nervous something will go wrong again this time. Still, how I wish it were me.

I had my beta drawn yesterday as I must do every month. I should get the results today, but I feel pretty confident we are okay because I got my period and I'm not on the pill this month. If my hcg was up, I don't think I would have gotten it.

Christmas is on Monday and I'm just not in the spirit this year. Frankly, I just really want this year to be over....I really am ready to start fresh. I have been working out and trying to loose weight to hopefully be a little slimmer for the next pregnancy. I think we'll start trying in April, so that gives me a few more months to get there.

My DH will be coming to my next therapy appointment with me and I think it might help us out a bit. We've been a bit disconnected because we deal with the miscarriage so differently. I suppose in some ways that is normal, but it's getting old fast.