Life has been chaotic, so I’m sorry for no updates in so long. Here is the latest:
Baby is 2lbs. 5oz as of yesterday's sonogram and my placenta previa is on the move - though not completely out of the way. I'm feeling pretty well and am 28 weeks along now. I've gained a total of 13.5 lbs so far and I'm pretty happy with that.
Now for the fun family drama info. Get your popcorn ready folks!
Our plan was to split 2 months of daycare care between my mother in law and my mom – my mom doing mornings since MIL works in mornings and MIL taking the afternoons. My mother in law was fine with this last we heard. She had offered to quit her job and do it FT but we just don't feel that is the right option for our family and told her that.
My mother in law called husband last week and told him she would not be taking care of our baby as she said she would for the couple of months we needed help when I go back to work. I called her back to see if something happened to upset her and she got all pissed at me. She questioned my choice of putting the baby in daycare and said we never communicated these things to her. The conversation ended up getting heated and she hung up on me.
Well, I got really upset and stressed about the whole thing and ended up L&D with contractions because of the stress of it. Baby and I are fine, but I was home on modified bed rest for week because of it.
So, my husband called his mom and let her know what happened. He told her not to call me or to come to my shower that is this weekend as we was concerned about another argument and wanted to keep us safe. She was upset and got mad at him that we didn't come over for her birthday a couple weeks ago (WTF!?). Never did she offer to help him out in any way while I was on bed rest for a week. Later she called him and left him a message asking how he could do this to her.
We found out through the grapevine that my MIL didn’t go into work all week. She doesn’t think she did anything wrong and blames my husband and I for upsetting her deeply.
Well, my shower is this weekend and I’m thinking about trying to reach out to her. You all might think I’m crazy, but we are going to have to resolve this eventually….The whole thing is a nightmare and I really hate that this has happened to us.
The most important thing is my baby and her health and THANK GOD she is okay. Any thoughts or advice you all have would be appreciated.
3 comments:
Boy have I had my fair share of MIL issues. My MIL is a great woman but she can be a pain in the ass sometimes.
When Mr. H and I were dating I used to go over to their house a lot. I wouldn't go on my own, he would pick me up and take me over there. I over heard her telling him that I was over way too much and that they needed their own family time and I needed to stay home. But when I was over she was always so glad I came to visit :) Whatever! Needless to say despite her passive aggressive tendencies, I married into the family. When ever she and I have issues (which is not too often) I usually back off to give her time to cool off then try to resolve it at a later date.
I completely understand you wanting/having to resolve things between your MIL before the baby comes. Since it has been over a week or two, I would write her a note and ask her to come to the shower because you want her there. You can always hand deliver a small gift basket or flowers, or make her some cookies to break the ice, but DO NOT apologize for anything. Be cordial, but stand your ground. You are not in the wrong here.
I am glad to hear that you and baby girl are fine.
I have problems with my mom, but not like this.
I think you do need to resolve this with your MIL and I agree with Monica's suggestion. Good luck!
I have never posted here before. I hope it is ok.
Sometimes MIL's get a little weirded out by the arrival of a new little person. They think this is another step in losing her own child. Weird, i know.
So they create drama and test boundaries to see which side their child (in this case, your husband)will choose.
Childish and scary but it happens...a lot.
I am so sorry that you and our baby were so negatively effected by her bad behavior.
For no, you and your husband need to focus understandably on you. eventually, hopefully she will figure out that she is hurting you and will mend her wyas. But that is HER responsibility. Not yours.
You simply do not need or deserve this kind of stress in your life.
My advice is to just lay low and let her figure this out for herself.
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