hard at home

I've been down ever since I got my period this week. It seems hardest at home. I've come to realized that it's hard at home because that is where I feel emptiest. It's really strange. I have a great house, job, husband, dog...there are truly many wonderful things in my life. The only thing that is missing is a child and it's when I'm home that I feel that missing piece the most.

I've really been at a place of peace for a while now, but this week I just feel empty. The milestones are hard. I passed my due date in Feb, and not getting pregnant this last cycle put my out of the running for a 2007 baby.

It's bad when I go home. That is the place that I want to have be filled with the joy of children, but it's just me and my husband. I'm so greatful for everything in my life, but there is just this one thing missing from it. My husband has been wonderfully supportive and understanding. I'm just so frustrated at myself that I'm feeling this way. Especially after being okay for so long now.

more period

Well, I got my period again this month. We've only been trying for two months but we've been waiting for so long since the last miscarriage. If I don't get pregnant this cycle, my next cycle will be the same one I got pregnant with last summer. Almost a whole year has gone by since I got pregnant.

I'm not devastated, but I am disappointed. I'm just really ready to be a Mom and want it with every ounce of who I am.